My new tablet + venting

I'm so excited! I now have a tablet ~

My brother gave my mom a Galaxy Tab A7 Lite for Christmas last year, but she ended up not using it at all, and since I needed something to help me study for entrance exams because my PC is BEGGING for retirement, she gave it to me! ~ 

I left my Languages major because I didn't like it at all, and now I'm studying to apply for a Film major because I realized how much I want to become a filmmaker and work within the film industry as a whole. Maybe I've never mentioned it in here, but cinema is one of my biggest passions, like, ever. I love it to the point that I start to cry if I talk further about how special it is to me.

I actually hate studying, specially because I have some learning disorders regarding numbers and math, but one must do sacrifices to reach certain goals, and that's what I should do if I want to become David Lynch's heiress on neosurrealism cinema.

However, making things cute definitely help me with feeling more motivated and studying less boring!

So I went on to customize the interface ~

I got these backgrounds on Tumblr and they are the CUTEST THING EVER, but unfortunately I couldn't find the artist who made them! If you know it, please leave a comment down below so I can give proper credits to the artist!

I used the same MA*RS widgets I have on my phone and sticky notes widgets from an app called Cute Nota, plus a Notion widget for easy access to my homepage (might do a Notion tour later!).

I have yet to get a case though. I really want those with a keyboard so I can simulate a laptop. So I'm resisting to the feminine urge of putting stickers all over it!

Now this is a vent about being mentally ill.

Getting your meds is always so difficult. By the time they actually start to make a difference, you run out of them and you need to schedule an appointment with the psychiatrist again, otherwise you can't get new meds.

This is so stressing and takes so much time and money.

If I spend a few days without my medicine, I can be really depressed, anxious and delusional, as I have a condition yet to be considered a mental illness on its own called Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder (or MDD). There ain't much research on the matter and therefore no specific medication. I depend on antidepressants as Lexapro.

I really wish I had money to afford being at a mental institution for a few months and focus solely on my healing and take medications with no interruptions.

Because I ran out of Lexapro, I'm now taking a backup of Zoloft, which isn't as nearly as good as Lexapro for me. Adapting to a new medication is just as brutal.

My countless mental issues and traumas are once again harming those I love and I'm becoming more and more isolated and lonely in order to stop hurting people.

I'm tired, Zoloft makes me a little numb, and my anxiety peaks a few times a day.

It's really tough.

But I have no choice other than keep going...

ベントー

げんき？

Coming from an overprotective household, I was kept far away from the stove. My mom was so afraid that I'd burn myself that I was never introduced to cooking.

Since I began living on my own, I eat out or order from delivery apps everyday, or buy frozen meals at convenience stores. However, things got... Expensive. I was spending too much by eating out everyday and that got me in a tangling situation with credit card bills and my money running out too soon.

I decided to learn how to cook for good.

I'm not the healthiest person alive and I'm very much of a picky eater so I'd spend way less on cooking my own food than most people. My diet basically consists on rice, meat, chicken, carbs and lots of sugar, plus I'm allergic to seafood so most Japanese food are a no-no. I do not recommend eating like me though. Please eat vegetables and fruits and have a healthy diet!

I was dying to eat Gohan and chicken seemed like a very simple thing to cook, so I got some chicken pieces and seasoning and went on to the stove.

 I used to be VERY scared of the stove thanks to my parents. I'm not anymore, thankfully. But the whole cooking process is very boring and long to me. I like fast things and when stuff needs time I can get anxious.

I was a bit experienced with Gohan already, but then I needed time to figure out the chicken. Two and a half hour later, the whole thing was done. Deliciously done!

I got my bento prepared for my lunch the next day; bento and chopsticks were a personal choice over being an admirer of Asian culture and habits. Personally, I find them much more practical and easier to handle than western cutlery and lunchboxes. Not to mention I have a Daiso right behind me at work, so for me it's more likely to get Asian cutlery than anything else.

Chopsticks are common in Asian cuisine because they usually chop everything in bite sizes, and to think of it, it's MUCH more practical, faster and easier. As mentioned, I like my things fast.

By the lunchtime, the food I made was still tasting as freshly good as in the night before and I was SO freaking proud of myself!

I did great for first timer!

Do I now like the idea of coming home after a tiring day at work, spending a few hours cooking and only then getting to rest? No. I'm an avid fan of taking a 3-hour nap when I get home.

 But I do like the idea of being proud of my self-improvement, the taste of the food I made with my own hands, and spare money to spend with brand items, clothing, nails and cosmetics. #gyarulogic

I'm super excited to try cooking kare raisu, meatballs and tonkatsu. Would you like to see more of my cooking adventures here? (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

I know I sound SO spoiled and childish for never having cooked a chicken before, but hey, I'm willing to learn and I'm trying my best! Could you please give me a chance? (･ัω･ั)

Liz Lisa Doll GET

I received something very exciting in the mail today!

My first Liz Lisa Doll item!!! (ﾉ*0*)ﾉ

I was looking for a black coat to wear at my job because we're only allowed to wear black or grey clothing. I barely have winter clothes, and I had no really good piece for that except for a black denim jacket that ain't much warm. It's VERY cold in the mall because the AC is crazy, even during wintertime, so it can get extra freezing for us.

Luckily, I found a girl on Instagram selling so many cute J-Fashion stuff and she had this LLD coat from a 2014 fukubukuro:

It's a lot more simple and basic than most LLD items, but it's exactly what I was looking for, and it's LLD either way! Personally, I like LLD way better than LL because it was just so funky, cute and flashy! I've always dreamed about putting my hands in one of their pieces!

(Also, Pikarin was a major gal crush back in the day, next to Kumicky and Tsubasa. I was a very Popteen person when I was younger)

So it came in after only three days by the noon, all the way from another state. Today was a quite warm day for winter as it was around 25⁰C, and it's probably going to be like this on the next few days as well, so I'm not wearing it too soon, but it'll definitely get very cold further in July. I can't wait to rock it at my job!

I love the embroidery so much!!

It's made out of a metallic thread, soooo beautiful and it does stand out a lot in the black.

And there is also the classic Liz Lisa Doll Engrish. I can't figure out what it says in the second line wwwwwww it's something like "Nothing makes me happier than ????? close to you". I first thought it was "thanking", then "thinking", but it seems like it was supposed to be "going" but it looks like "koing"????

"Nothing makes me happier than koing close to you"???????

Anyways...

Love their tag so freaking much!

The buttons have tiny little stars around them!

It's a VERY warm coat, the fuzzy cap is super comfy and the fabric feels very soft. It's a bit tight around my arms but if I didn't squish myself a little to fit in then it wouldn't be Japanese clothing lol it was a perfect fit on my 1.55m tall colleague though wwww

I noticed there were a few new Sanrio items at my local Daiso today!

Nothing much different than what I already have but I had to get this adorable cup!

I love me some kawaii cups!!!

Melissa Sale GETS

I've been waiting for this moment for months!!!

Melissa is having a super Winter sale, right on time for my wardrobe renewal! Since my taste changed a lot, I've gained weight and I don't like/wear most of my shoes these days, I've been looking out for new stuff.

I got a bag and two pairs of shoes for 50% off! ヽ(｡◕o◕｡)ﾉ.

Melissa is one of my favorite brands, and in case you haven't heard of it, they're super famous for their bubblegum-scented plastic shoes and bags and invented the iconic jelly shoes back in the 1970's. They do a lot of collabs with couture designers and I'm a huge fan of their Vivienne Westwood collabs! They're known as Melissa Plastic Dreams in the US.

Their shoes hurt my feet like hell NGL but my feet are sensitive with any other brand too, so... Who cares wwwww

I've been drooling over this bag for MONTHS and I didn't expect to get it for 50% off! It's a large handbag that screams gal IMO, I think I'd look so cute in an agejo or simply gyaru-kei coord!

It has this tiny QR code printed over one of the hearts that unlocks an exclusive Instagram filter!

And there's also this strap (?) thing so you can "close" it.

Moving on to the shoes...

(Don't mind my hairy legs, it's winter lol)

These are the Seduction VI and aren't they the cutest thing you've ever seen???

That flower-printed bow is like SO HUGE!!! SO EXTRAVAGANT!!!

Usually I'm not a fan of slide shoes but these??? LOOK AT THEM!

They're hella adorable and I have so many coords in mind now!

 Curiously, the best fit of these slides for are size 5, and that's very strange considering I'm a 7.  The flats are 6. I guess their shoes are larger than from other brands, so if you're considering buying from them and have slim feet like mine, get it on one or two sizes smaller.

That's all for today!

I'm super tired, it was a very exhausting day at work!

Bye ~

Taking some time ~

 Hiya!

I'm feeling very introspective these days ~

A lot happened recently and I'm taking some time to think, get to know myself better and be mindful.

So I'm not in the mood for posting selfies and looks, ごめんね (个_个)

I'm doing fine though! Everything's fine!

I just need some time off the internet a little ~

ﾊﾞｲｷｰ

ゴロゴロ

 I'm having two days off in a row so I'm taking some time to regain energy while I watch movies, update my Tumblr blog and rest my body ~

I have a lot of cleaning work to do after that ಥ_ಥ

ﾊﾞｲｷｰ

今日のえいみーりん

 Hiya!

Today I tried a hairstyle inspired by an Egg page I found on Pinterest last night!

I don't have bangs nor a curling iron but I wanted to try the "braided headband" style. Also, I love Yukipoyo!

I did a few touch ups after these photos and then took some other

I think it looks very cute but having super straight hair makes me super insecure about making a hairstyle stay untouched all day long (ᗒᗩᗕ) But I'm glad I tried something new today!

My lunchtime is almost over now (っ˘̩╭╮˘̩)っ

バイキ！

ポーチチェック

Today I'm doing a "What's in my pouch"! ( ╹▽╹ )

I'm meant to do a bag check for centuries but I carry too many stuff and pouches and that makes me too lazy to explain each of them lol

Not many days ago I posted about my new Ariel makeup pouch and I wanted to show you guys which are the products I carry and wear every single day with me (◕ᴗ◕✿)

In case you didn't read the specific post, I got this official Ariel pouch at Daiso last week and added a matching charm from a Disney Princess collab with Melissa.

Every brand marked with a * is a Brazilian brand

Face: 

Base: Revlon Photoready perfecting primer, Dailus* face powder, Benefit Cosmetics Hoola bronzer (original shade), Benefit Cosmetics mini Watt's Up highlighter, BT* Plush liquid blush in "Peony".

I gotta be honest, I don't wear foundation and concealer on a daily basis. It takes more time from me and I wear a mask all day long, so I don't wear it at all except if I'm going out and such things.

Nose stripe: Playboy jumbo white pencil, Luisance* highlighter stick in shimmering white, MaxLove* blonde brow palette (I use the lightest shade for nose contour), Daiso UrGlam nose contour brush.

Eyes:

Daiso x Hello Kitty lash case, Intense by O Boticário* black eyeshadow (for droop), off-brand sharpener, Kiss iEnvy 16-hour lash glue, AshLash lash tweezer, Dapop* shimmering eyeshadow palette (I wear mostly pink, purple and blue, the other shades broke lol), off-brand pen eyeliner, Ruby Rose* black eyeliner pencil, Vult* brown retractable eyeliner (for droop), Jasmyne* blonde brow pencil, TheBalm Batter Up eyeshadow stick in "Shutout", Payot* Doll Lashes sculpting máscara, Luisansce* white glitter eyeliner, Daiso eyeliner brushes.

I used to carry a Daiso lash curler but it takes so much space in the bag that it's just not worthy it ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

As for lashes, I usually carry with me Daiso "B06 - Volume", Diamond Lash "Cat Eye" and "Glamorous Eye", and off-brand lowers.

Lips:

Nivea Pearly Shine lip balm (perfect 90's frosty, pearlescent pink), Quem Disse, Berenice?* hydrating lipstick in "Nudissimo" (shimmering nude pink), Essence Shine Shine Shine lipgloss in "Behind the Scenes"

I have a pouch specifically for lip products because I can't get enough of them and they're one of my biggest addictions, but these are my "most gal" lippies from my selection for daily wear, so that's why they're in a different bag.

Aaaand that's pretty much it!

I know it looks like it's a lot of stuff but it really is the essential ONLY (≧▽≦)